Yesterday we found a terrifying insect in our home climbing up the kitchen wall...
One of my daughters came around the corner looking for me. From the look on her face and the pitch of her scream I knew it was a whopper. What could it be? A spider? A scorpion? Then, my son started to scream as well. Could it be a snake? Could a snake be in our house? As I rounded the corner I understood why everyone was hysterical. There was a mammoth, tremendously scary looking, red-headed centipede wiggling all of its mean parts at us. Yuck and yikes!
I told my son to watch him and I'd go into the garage to get a tool to "git" him. The screams continued as I looked for the pic ax. I thought my husband had already left for work but he was getting off the phone wondering what was going on. By this time I was hollering myself...
My husband came around the corner seeing me with the raised pic ax thinking it must be a snake! He saw the centipede and said, "Why are you all screaming?" He scooped the centipede into the dust pan to take it outside. I thought what do you mean why were we all screaming? Did you see the size of that thing? They move fast, too, hence the necessary pic ax.
My children discussed the centipede with me for the remainder of the day...
"Mom, what if they travel in pairs?"
"Mom, what if that was one of many spring centipedes."
"Mom, I accidently left the garage door open for a few minutes. Do you think another one came in?"
And I am thinking, I wonder what people do for entertainment without sweet children at home?
Then, comes the painful part of the story...
"Mom, what if while I am sleeping, he crawls up my wall and gets on me and I wake up with him on my chest?!?"
It is hard not to laugh at this particular child since he is such a worrier...
"Well, I said, if there is another centipede then Jesus will protect you from it."
Silence on my son's part as he is thinking this through.
Then comes the question I have been painfully dreading.
"Well, if Jesus will protect me from the centipede then why was Rose not protected from the accident?"
His question is met with my silence. I have to choke back the tears and the anger.
"Well," I said. "I don't know why God allowed the accident to happen to Rose. All I know is that God was with her every second she needed Him. God was there to protect Rose."
This answer would sound too simple and stupid for a non-believer but for one who has faith it is an invitation for trusting God when it seems impossible to accept what one has been dealt...
All I can say about faith is God has revealed Himself to me in many ways over my life so I know without a doubt He exists. Since I know for a fact He exists I can then focus my energy on trusting and loving Him instead of spending it on doubting and trying to convince others He is not here.
Our amazing counselor, Diana, reminded me that faith is trusting when we do not have the answers. She reminded me there is some reason why the God of the Universe who can do ANYTHING did not spare our daughter's life here on earth. Since I do not know now or probably ever will while I am here on this earth why our sweetest Rose was taken from us I have to trust that God had a reason for why she was allowed to pass from us.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.