Tuesday, July 21, 2009

On Fear

What is it that keeps us from growing in life and at times from doing God's will? Of course the culprit for all lack of forward movement is fear.

By the grace of God my husband and I were taught how to be open to life before we were married. Deciding not to contracept in marriage takes away the fear that prevents most married couples from being open to multiple children. When we understand the beauty of the teaching behind living out our vocation of marriage it is a moment that will forever change the marriage and allow the married couple to continually blossom and grow.

The fruit of this gift is obviously our children, and in our family, especially our sweetest Rose. If
fear ruled over our married lives (mainly over our fertility) and we created barriers between us or just decided we were "done" having children we never would have experienced the blessedness of Rose. If fear ruled over our lives after losing Rose we would never have been open to the possibility of a new life after her death. But praise God for teaching us how to be truly giving of ourselves in our sexuality as we are expecting another little one...

The fear remains but since our lifestyle is not conducive to letting the unknown rule our lives we have been entrusted with another soul to love and care for.

During this past year this has been the hardest scripture to accept but it has been the most profound when it comes to needing to continually trust in our Lord:

"The Lord gives. The Lord takes. Blessed be the name of the Lord."
Job 1:21

fear remains but the trust is stronger.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

On Our Loss

As our closest family and friends know, it has been six months since we lost our youngest child, Rose Marie in January of this year. Although our hearts are physically broken it is our faith that continues to sustain us.

Through God's love, mercy and grace God is healing us through the many special souls he has placed in our lives all along the way but especially through the lives of our other children.

So in the depth of our pain of losing one of our blessed children the Lord in His infinite goodness continues to use our other blessed children to find and bring out the joy that remains and to create new joy along our new journey without our sweetest Rose. Here we are again realizing the blessedness of our lives through the gift of our children even when we are grieving the loss of the most profound one - our precious baby.