Too Many Babies?

So, some friends came to visit us one afternoon while they were in town. On this particular visit we were able to talk about our large family life that started with a rather simple but unique question. The father asked, "My son wants to know why you had another baby?" (referring to Clement who was 15 mo.) Then he said, "I told my son I don't know why you guys had another baby and he should ask you."

This question somehow seemed to catch me off guard. You see normally we get the standard, "Are you guys done yet?" But this question was different. To me it implied that there had to be some particular reason unbeknownst to our friends why we had another baby when we already had a lot of them.  

But where do we begin to explain the gift of new life if someone does not know or believe 

that the greatest gift they could be entrusted with is a new soul?

I won't get into our society's view of life or as those who are trying to practice the faith call it The Culture of Death
but the Catholic view of our sexuality asks, do you want the secret to true freedom?

And the simple version goes something like this...

- I am wildly in love with my husband.

-My husband is wildly in love me.

-We show God, one another and the world just how much we love each other 

by not using physical barriers between us in the marital act to always remain open to God's life-giving love.

-We were taught that contraception/sterilization says, 

"I love you but I love you with reservations" or "I give myself to you but I do not give myself to you completely." 
(Marriage is for Keeps by John F. Kippley) 
http://www.amazon.com/Marriage-Is-Keeps-Foundations-Christian/dp/0926412124

And that is that. The marital act is super simple between us. It is all (no contraception or barrier) or nothing (abstaining.)

For anyone who might be a bit behind the times and thinks the Catholic Church says you must leave your family size up to chance, they have been misinformed about Church teaching.

Regarding children the Church says: Serious circumstances such as physical, emotional, mental, financial reasons 

may affect the number of children or the need to space them. 

Which means = use Natural Family Planning to responsibly postpone becoming pregnant if needed.

Regarding sterilization the Church says:

If someone convinced you to become sterilized (for whatever reason) before you knew the radical implications (removing the life giving act of love from your marriage) the Church says =  if you are still of child bearing years consider a sterilization reversal or if the timing is too late to seek forgiveness through the Sacrament of Confession.  
(Sterilization Reversal: A Generous Act of Love: Twenty Couples Share their Stories by John L. Long) 
http://onemoresoul.com/featured/sterilization-reversal-book-2013-edition.html

Regarding both contraception and sterilization the best way to avoid pressure to give in to either of these is to seek out your local NFP (Natural Family Planning) doctor who encourages you to a way of life outside of these barriers. 

It is a gift to yourself and to your spouse to go to a doctor who does not discuss or pressure you with birth control or perform sterilizations. For people who think life outside of birth control/sterilization is crazy, I'd encourage them to learn more about the science behind NFP as it is actually more reliable than all other forms of birth control. But that is another post for another day. For starters here is the low down on NFP: (The Pope Paul VI Institute)
http://www.popepaulvi.com/fcco

So, getting back to us, if my husband and I do not have a strong reason to abstain or space our children don't be surprised if God gives us another baby down the road. We like to say we are radically open in the baby department and when people cannot fathom why we would keep having children and want to know if we are "done yet" I give them the polite, non-scary reply and say,"Oh, we don't know. We just take it one baby at a time." And in response to our friends asking specifically about our youngest child I told them, "Well, when Clement is old enough to tell us let's ask him why we had another baby." ;)

#Blessed

I thought I should finally update the blog with a picture 
from 8 months ago!

Clement's first family picture! October 2013!

Clement =  merciful, gentle

Freezing Weather = Indoor Dance Party!

Expecting...

With the birth of our 8th child only days away I thought of something funny to share from when we found out we were expecting (larger families might get a bigger kick out of my funny!)

Once I realized things were a go I emailed by husband simply quoting 
a James Taylor song from the 80's 

(yes, only true James Taylor fans know his stuff from the 80's!) 

JT was referring to dating women but I quoted him referring to the gift of our babies,

"Well, I'm going round

going round

going round

going around

one more time..."

And my funny husband simply sent me back his own musical quote from The Talking Heads,

"Same as it ever was!"

If my husband and I were "worried" about a baby breaking us or breaking the bank

there would be some really beautiful beings missing from our lives.

Thankfully out of all the worries we have in life 

being open to babies in our marriage is not one of them.

Today, I came across the perfect quote from Danielle Bean

on what a family is worth...

"I am tired, but I am filled."

Perfectly said mama of 9.


St. Gerard Majella,
Patron of Expecting Mothers,
Pray for Us!

Happy Birthday Rose

“If you are what you are supposed to be, you will set the whole world on fire.”

-St. Catherine of Sienna

Happy Birthday

Rose Marie! 

http://ourbabyrose.com

A Year of Blessings!

2012

A year of blessings!

New Life...

Our first moment together,

Julia and me,

Peace filled bliss,

Thank God she is here.

The love story continues...

On Being Humbled

Today, in God's infinite goodness and graciousness, He allowed me to see my blessings after starting the day in a cranky and foul mood...

My husband asked me this morning, "How are you?" knowing full well I was off.

I didn't want to talk about how I was feeling so I said, "I'm fine" without looking him in the eye.

I am in my ninth month of pregnancy and not sleeping well at night.

I am more fussy than usual.

I am frustrated in this election year with people who are unaware of what is happening in our country.

So in my tired and fussy state, I headed out in the late afternoon to visit one of my dearest friends and her daughter in the hospital. 

On the way to the hospital I see what I think to be a prostitute on a corner of town where I wouldn't normally expect to see one.  I can only assume she is one from the way she is dressed and walking up and down the corner.  The only feeling I can experience is sheer sadness.  I cannot imagine what her life must be like.  I can only imagine her struggle to love herself or allow God to love her while living a life of others taking advantage of her.  I think of the danger she puts herself in. I imagine her sharing the most intimate part of her being with a selfish stranger. I start to feel sick and pray for her on the way to the hospital and thank God it is not me on the street corner.

I get to the hospital where my friend and her daughter have been for nine days now after coming through major brain surgery on Wednesday. I take one look at them and things fall into place for me pretty quickly. I can't believe I woke up feeling sorry for myself today.  I am ashamed and once again thank God for putting me in a place where I can put things in perspective.

When I am leaving the hospital a young mother approaches me looking to start a conversation about my very pregnant belly.  She asks me which baby this is for me.  When I tell her it is my seventh she can barely believe me.  She says, "Oh, you must be married to have so many children."  She tells me she is the mother of two young children with neither fathers around.  She works and raises her children on her own and tells me she doesn't spend her time with the right kind of men. We talk about hope and how there are always noble men out there waiting to be found. We talk about doing what is best for our children and try to rise above ourselves every day.  She tells me she has given up hope.  I try and share how Jesus' Passion, death and resurrection give us hope.  I say the words out loud and am quickly humbled by my own words regarding my feelings of hopelessness.  

I continue to walk back to my car and see the most beautiful rainbow I've seen.  I don't know if this woman will notice the rainbow on her way out or equate it with God's message of hope for us.  I am humbled by her struggles in life and pray for her and her children.  

I pray in thanksgiving for my noble and beautiful spouse.

On the way home I tune into Relevant Radio and for the first time am introduced to Msgr. J. Brian Bransfield.  He is continuing with the message of detachment from the world and God meeting us where we are and I am completely in awe of how God grabbed a hold of my attention and shook me with things I needed to hear today.

Thank you Lord for revealing my weaknesses and my blessings to me today.

Keep me far from despair, doubt and hopelessness as it is so easy to stumble into self pity some days.

And thank you most for revealing Yourself to me when I needed You most.

Large Family Annoyances

While out to eat recently with my five kiddos, a friend's child and a really pregnant belly, 

a woman came up to me out of the blue and had the gall to say,
"You look almost completely overwhelmed!"
And the first thought that came to my mind was,

"Wow, I've never heard that one before!"

And then my second thought was,

"I have an extra child with me which is a little challenging but hey, I'm still in control here!"

This woman gave herself permission to say "completely overwhelmed" 

by putting "almost" in front of it.  

First, I laughed and then complete annoyance came over me.

Peace I bequeath to you, my own peace I give you,

a peace which the world cannot give, this is my gift to you.

Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.

John 14:27

Lord, why do I still care what strangers think of me?

And for heaven's sake why do people give themselves permission to say whatever they want to say to larger families?

When did larger families become dumping grounds for people to project their own issues on to us?

What if I walked up to every small family and inquired about their family planning?

"Are you done yet?"

Sometimes I think my response to such people should be...

"These sweet babes bring patience and tolerance to help me put up with people like you!"
(My OBGYN and I came up with this one!)

The reason I am writing about this is it doesn't happen once in a blue moon but almost any time we venture out together.

But by God's grace, I didn't turn around to see the woman's face so I couldn't confront her.

I had a good idea as to who she was as she kept turning around to stare at us while sitting with her husband and her one self sufficient child.

I started to think to myself...
"My, you look almost completely underwhelmed with your one child!

"Do you feel better about yourself for saying that to me?"

"How do you know what I can handle?"

And "Who are you?"

Eventually, I work through all the thoughts that come into my head, I start to settle down and think of Oprah's words of wisdom...

"When you know better, you do better."

Easy to apply to myself but harder to apply to others.

As my husband often says to me, 

"Who cares what other people think?" 

And, I think really, can you teach me not to care?

And he reminds me again and again
that we are the ones who are truly blessed. 

Happy Birthday Rose!

Happy Birthday Sweetest One!
We can't wait to see and hold you one day again!
Love, Mama

http://www.ourbabyrose.com/

On Profound Loss

There is a hole inside that cannot be filled.
Anyone who has experienced profound loss knows of the depth of this hole.
Although Jesus continues to heal, healing can be a complicated and messy process
that is not easy to figure out at times.
And we must wait until His healing comes in His time and not ours.
I finally understand it isn't until the end of the journey
that we will experience the peace we so long for
and the knowledge that surpasses all understanding
that will finally explain the painful whys.
So we continue to sit with our brokenness and wait
and hopefully find purpose and meaning
while we are trying to live out His will
until the day He calls us to come to Him.

January 5, 2012

"Everything I am
Everything I long to be
I lay it down at Your feet..."
-Matt Maher

Rosie, we miss you so very, very much.

Dec. 6 - Feast of St. Nicholas

Why today is such an important day for our family... 

 We tried to have Rose baptized at our new parish when we moved away but when we inquired about baptism they told us we would have to be parishioners for three months for Rose to receive the sacrament of baptism there. Granted we were inquiring about this three months after she was born and we didn't want to wait any longer to have her baptized. Since this new parish had over 7,000 parishioners and we didn't personally know the priests we decided it best that we come back home to have her baptized. By the time we made arrangements for her baptism, Rose's Godmother, Sally, was traveling outside the country and when she arrived home our beloved priest, Fr. Bud, was traveling outside of the country as well. We had to wait a few more months until all the details came together all the while thinking Rose will be fine until we get her baptized but still having a sense of urgency to push forward with making this happen. 

We finally settled on the date, Dec. 6th, the Feast of St. Nicholas for her baptism. 

Rose's baptism was a most beautiful occasion. Our favorite faithful friends came to pray and celebrate with us. Rose was only baptized 30 days before her unexpected death. How I thanked and praised God for the gift of her baptism. 

I know there are people who do not believe in infant baptism and do not understand the sense of urgency some Christians have to baptize a child. I don't want to start a discussion on infant baptism but the bible is full of scripture verses referring to and asking the children and infants to come to Jesus. I once knew a priest who said, "Don't worry too much about getting the babies baptized right away. They are fine and if it is too stressful when they are newborns wait until things calm down." This priest eventually left the priesthood but if I saw him again I would tell him he was wrong with his approach on waiting to baptize infants as we never know when death will come upon any of us so why would we delay anyone's baptism? 

We know a beautiful and faithful family that lost their newborn daughter during what was supposed to be a normal and safe surgical procedure for her medical condition. Thankfully there was a priest at the hospital with them but their story is another difficult example of how we never know what is really going to happen from one moment to the next. 

Sadly we just think if we try hard enough to control our lives we will somehow be able to. We've had to learn the hard way that control is only an illusion and control is the opposite of love. Now I have to wake up everyday and ask for the strength to let go of my controlling tendencies.

And today I now understand that the need to control our own lives and the lives of our family and friends, no matter how well meaning it is, is out of fear of having no control at all. And what would happen if we knew deep down knew we had no real control in our lives (which all of us will eventually know one day - losing a loved one, having an accident, losing our health, the break up of a marriage, things not going in accordance to what the vision of lives originally was, and ultimately losing our own lives...) we would have to rely upon God 100% and this would be the most scary thing of all...for us to give up total control of our lives and completely surrender to the will of the Father. 

But people do this and become saints in heaven and become beacons of light for us to learn to let go... 

In our home we don’t always remember baptismal days. My children were lucky if we recognized the month in which they were baptized. But with one child I mistakenly had the wrong month of her baptism on the calendar. 

I thought our daughter Therese was baptized in October (I “misplaced” her baptismal certificate) and this past spring I was given a copy from the church where she was baptized as she needed it for her First Communion. I wept with tears of joy when I saw that her baptismal date was actually today, the same date as her sweet sister, Rose. What if we had actually known Therese's baptismal date? I probably would have said, "Oh, no we will need to change Rose's baptismal date so they can celebrate different baptismal days." What if I would have pushed off Rose's baptismal date? But thankfully in my confusion I did not know the correct date and because of my ignorance, my daughter Therese has a very special connection with her sister, Rose who is now a saint in heaven. And for us, this is just another sign that He is present among us, continually revealing Himself by taking care of all the details, big and small...

11-11-11

All ones...

This is a fun and silly story for me to share because I do not have an ounce of superstition in me. I am overly practical and to the point. I don't need to "see" big, flashy physical signs or miracles in the world to believe because God has always revealed Himself to me in very subtle ways...

Part 1:

Before I met my husband there was another person I was spending time with that once told me he always would notice all ones...on clocks, signs, computers, etc. He was feeling a little lonely in life and decided all the ones he saw, meant he would be all alone. Now this was terribly depressing to hear and although I am not the biggest optimist I knew this was even off for me. Then out of the blue, I start noticing all ones! And I began to get really mad about this because I know I am not "all alone" in the world. I didn't want to take on this bleak aspect! So I thought all the ones did not mean "all alone" and I began looking for a new message for the all ones I started to now see everywhere!

Part 2:

So the night I met my husband (a fun story to share another time) I had found my new take on all ones! By the end of the evening my husband had written his information in my address book I carried with me (yes, this was before smart phones when we walked around with paper address books for our contacts.) When I got home I saw that one of his phone numbers was (***)***-1111. Although I had no idea how smitten I was with this man a smile came across my face and I thought, "Well, look there...these all ones seem to not be such a bad thing!" I soon realized that my husband was the love of my life and the man I was called to marriage with and I started to rejoice when I saw all ones because it didn't stand for all alone...all the ones meant yeah! first place!

So now, when I glance down at my phone and the time says 11:11 I try to very quickly text my husband before it gets to 11:12 and tell him it's 11:11 because this is now our reminder of our days together.

I told you it was a silly story but today is 11-11-11 which is another way to tell my husband he's the "one" for me!

Why October Rocks

October is the month of celebrating the rosary!

October is Pro-Life month!

October has some of our most beloved saints!

We love October!!!

1

Saint Therese of Lisieux

4

St. Francis of Assisi

5

St. Faustina Kowalska

15

St. Teresa of Avila

16

St. Gerard Majella

17

St. Ignatius of Antioch

18

Saint Luke

19

Sts. Isaac Jogues and Rene Goupil

22

Bl. Pope John Paul II

28

St. Jude Thaddaeus

St. Therese of Lisieux Oct. 1

(Therese Marie and St. Therese)

Happy Feast Day
St. Therese of Lisieux!
(yesterday, Oct. 1)

"There is one only thing to do here below: to love Jesus,

to win souls for Him so that He may be loved.

Let us seize with jealous care every least opportunity of self sacrifice.

Let us refuse Him nothing - He does so want our love!"

-VI letter to her sister Celine

Our Lady of La Leche

A PRAYER FOR MOTHERHOOD:

Lovely Lady of La Leche,

most loving mother of the Child Jesus, and my mother,

listen to my humble prayer.

Your motherly heart knows my every wish, my every need.

To you only,

His spotless Virgin Mother,

has your Divine Son given to understand the sentiments which fill my soul.

Yours was the sacred privilege of being the Mother of the Savior.

Intercede with Him now, my loving Mother,

that, in accordance with His will,

I may become the mother of other children of our heavenly Father.

This I ask, O Lady of La Leche,

in the Name of your Divine Son,

My Lord and Redeemer. Amen.

http://www.missionandshrine.org/la_leche.htm

For people who are never around children...

This post is fueled by a recent trip to the hair salon...We recently moved out from the city so I am now further from my hair stylist. I got a sitter to watch my children and it took me 40 minutes to get to my hair salon with traffic. I know I have a 15 minute window to arrive late. I called the salon at 18 minutes past my appointment and said I was at the light, about to turn into the parking lot. The woman on the phone said it was too late for me to come in. I really needed a break here so I asked her to ask my hair stylist if I could come in. She briefly put me on hold and quickly came back with a no and said I could reschedule for the next evening. I thought for a moment and then said, "Sure, you can put me on the schedule for the same time tomorrow" knowing full well I would not have access to a sitter. So I showed up the next evening with five kids in tow (including our toddler) and asked the children to wait up front quietly while mom got her hair cut. The look on everyone's face was of surprise like did she really bring all her kids in here? Then it was a look of disgust that prompted me to write this post (I know many of these single people in the salon do not have children and I hear about many of their adult outings so I know there are fewer opportunities to spend time with little ones.) And by the way by kids had really great behavior for waiting for their mom to get her hair cut as it was during their normal dinner time and everyone was hungry...

If you are never around children please work on finding opportunities to hang around other people's children so you don't freak out when you are forced to have them in your presence!

If your nieces and nephews are not close by make sure you visit other families in your area!

Once you find some children to hang out with, let them...

Climb on you,

Slobber on you,

Talk or yell loudly in your ear,

Sneeze on you,

Chase you,

Wrestle with you,

Laugh at you,

Etc...

And if you want to go the extra mile to ensure you are growing in tolerance of children help them...

Blow their noses,

Wipe their bums,

Etc...

(I originally said clean up their vomit or change their poopy diaper but even I know this is too extreme :)

Just please for the love of God every once in awhile do things that make you squirm and make you uncomfortable with children,
so you don't have that terrible look of disgust on your face when children come through your door...

Regardless of your state of life, it is not normal to never be around children so please find a way to somehow make this happen for you
(and for me as well...)

St. Rose of Lima August 23

Saint Rose of Lima
Virgin
(1586-1617)


St. Rose of Lima is the patroness of Latin America and the Philippines. This South American Saint's real name was Isabel, but she was such a beautiful baby that she was called Rose, and that name remained. As she grew older, she became more and more beautiful, and one day, her mother put a wreath of flowers on her head to show off her loveliness to friends. But Rose had no desire to be admired, for her heart had been given to Jesus. So she put a long pin into that wreath and it pierced her so deeply, that she had a hard time getting the wreath off afterward. Another time she became afraid that her beauty might be a temptation to someone, since people could not take their eyes off her. Therefore, she rubbed her face with pepper until it was all red and blistered.

St. Rose worked hard to support her poor parents and she humbly obeyed them, except when they tried to get her to marry. That she would not do. Her love of Jesus was so great that when she talked about Him, her face glowed and her eyes sparkled.

Rose had many temptations from the devil, and there were also many times when she had to suffer a feeling of terrible loneliness and sadness, for God seemed far away. Yet she cheerfully offered all these troubles to Him. In fact, in her last long, painful sickness, this heroic young woman use to pray: "Lord, increase my sufferings, and with them increase Your love in my heart."

Many miracles followed her death. She was beatified by Clement IX, in 1667, and canonized in 1671 by Clement X, the first American to be so honoured. Her feast is celebrated 23 of August. She is represented wearing a crown of roses.

St. Rose of Lima,

Pray for us...

On Contraception...

I have not had the energy needed to write about all the things on my heart recently.

They are my heavy and deep thoughts that people who want to avoid controversy and pain don't want to read.

My blog started as a way to share with and educate people on being open to children in their marriage, hence the name, "Leslie on Life."

I truly believe contracepting in our marriages has a most damaging effect. I believe the lie of contraception is the root of the abortion industry as well.

Contraception contradicts what our marriages are supposed to be...a total giving of oneself in love to our spouse...

And Lord knows we need all the help we can get with being more loving to our spouses and shifting the focus off of ourselves and on to others...

Living a life without contraception in marriage is the definition of freedom to me. I desire for others to know of this freedom as well...

We know the roots of all our faiths are open to life. We know it was the invention of birth control that started to change our morals regarding life in the early 1900's.

Today 96% of American Catholics contracept in their marriages.

American Catholics are not receiving the truth or are simply rejecting it. And we know it has to do with both. Regardless of why there is an enormous problem in the Catholic Church regarding this life giving aspect of church teaching.

In our Protestant churches, people do a great job of abstaining from sex before marriage but many do not see a problem with contraception once they are married. What do Protestant preachers believe and teach on contraception? Are Protestant preachers practicing contraception in their own marriages? If so, how do they counsel their church members on family life within marriage?

What about our brothers and sisters outside of Christianity? What do their religious leaders teach regarding contraception?

And what do we do if we have a medical condition that endangers mamas from having more children? Are our husbands automatically sterilized or do we learn how to chart our fertility to postpone babies and trust that the Lord will take care of us and our families?

I constantly meet people who say to me, "I would love another child but my spouse is not open to another child." This would break my heart the day I would hear my husband say, "I'm sorry you desire another child but I'm not going to give you one."

So many thoughts to think of and to address...

So I will continue to work on the original intent of my blog...

Leslie on Life...